you dont like the word breast??? ok we’re having chicken boobs for dinner
actually this is what my family calls them
"maybe if i ignore my assignments they will magically go away" a college story“they didn’t” the riveting sequel
"I’m So Fucking Fucked" a trilogy
Especially when I remember where I was at mentally a few years ago, Knowing that someone can see beyond all of my imperfections and really take all of who I am and still look at me the way he did a couple years ago makes everything seem alright and if it seems wrong, he is always there to help me
This is a super soft post but I love when Eric looks at me because his face just lights up and seeing him smile like that makes me know that my life is everything I could ever want it to be
Popping bottles in the ice, like a lizard. When we drink we do it right, with a lizard.
PSA: birth control WILL make your tits grow like crazy and you will be mad because you wont be able to button your fav flannel anymore
i dont blame you if you think i am a shitty person because i am literally the shittiest of shitty human beings
"honey, i’m pregnant."
“hello pregnant,” he whispers, tears of joy in his eyes. “i’m dad.”
the first dad joke